Books of 2015

I always aspire to read more "real" books as each new year starts.  So, in order to keep track - I'm going to keep editing this post all year and list all of the books I read in this one place.  Because nobody reads my blog anyway!

Currently reading:

Insurgent (by Veronica Roth)
Take One (Karen Kingsbury)
The Scorch Trials (by James Dashner)


Books waiting for me:

When I found You (by Catherine Ryan Hyde)
Closing the Gap (by Patty Slack)
Maya's Notebook (by Isabel Allende)


Books I need to finish before the movie comes out:

None!

What I've read so far in 2015:

The Lost Gate (by Orson Scott Card)
The Gate Thief (by Orson Scott Card)
The Thief Lord (by Cornelia Funke)
Tropical Spice (by Sandy Loyd)
Unleashed (by Nancy Holder)
The Rescue (by Nicholas Sparks)
True Believer (by Nicholas Sparks)
The Billionaire's Whim (by Liliana Rhodes)
Soldier (by Liliana Rhodes)
At First Sight (by Nicholas Sparks)
Fever (by Elizabeth Lowell)
Match Me if You Can (by Susan Elizabeth Phillips)
The Marine's E-mail Order Bride (by Cora Seton)
Annihilate Me (by Christina Ross)
Book of the Dead (by Patricia Cornwell)
Texas! Lucky (by Sandra Brown)
Texas! Sage (by Sandra Brown)
Texas! Chase (by Sandra Brown)
The Defiant Hero (by Suzanne Brockmann)
The Longest Ride (by Nicholas Sparks)
The Unsung Hero (by Suzanne Brockmann)
Over the Edge (by Suzanne Brockman)


If you do read this blog, feel free to leave a comment with your book suggestion(s).

Out of Context

There's phenomenon out there where some religious "scholars" / believers create posts, tweets, even memes about how someone else uses a verse out of context of its original meaning.  And I get that we need to know context of scripture.But - wasn't all scripture originally written for a different group of people in a different time? 

One example of this: Posts, tweets and memes of how people have applied Jeremiah 29:11 "incorrectly" - making it personal - trying to apply it to their lives and how God cares for them.  Making sure to impress that Jeremiah 29:11 isn't personal to you - that it wasn't written about God's plans for you. 

However, other verses don't get this same treatment.  For example: What is the true context around Philippians 4:13 (being content in anything vs. being able to do anything?). 

And I know, I'm probably over-thinking this (though many will believe I am "under" thinking this).

However, this is what keeps running through my head:

2 Timothy 3:16 - 17.

" All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

I guess I'm just not going to bash someone about their use of a bible verse when it may be the only bible verse they ever read.  Maybe it's that one verse that will lead them to look further into the bible.

The posts, tweets, and memes do not seem conducive to creating an opportunity for personal conversation that leads to a real discussion of scripture. 

I believe - Supporters version

sup·port·er

/sə’pôrtər/

Noun

1.  A person who approves of and encourages someone or something 

I believe we are supporters who together create an Army.

I believe that neither conditions nor outcome should alter our dedication as supporters.

I believe that we should prove to the MLS that belief in our team is bigger than any amount of money they can spend on one individual player.

I believe that we will grow as an Army when we positively influence the individuals among us.

I believe that we will win the hearts of the many by becoming the soul of the team.

We are Timbers Army.

Without words

Ryan Woods is in his last days.  I have read the posts on facebook by many, including Ryan himself, over the last year or so, and know that words of encouragement, sorrow, and understanding are welcomed and embraced.  Yet somehow, I cannot say them.  It's too hard.  Too close to home.  I know what it's like to be in that vigil - awaiting something you dread, while still coveting the end of suffering.  Today they posted a sweet picture of Ryan's daughter India laying in bed with him watching something on a laptop...and my heart breaks because Ryan's facial expression is so like that of my mom's during that time.  The words that I know I should say are too hard to say, mostly because the words don't truly ease the pain of what is to come.  Only God can ease that pain. So, I continue to pray...

Words...

Today I am struggling with how to deal with teenagers who choose to use social media to harass, annoy, bully others...

These scriptures come to mind:
  
Ephesians 4: 29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. "

1 Thessalonians 5:14 - 18 "And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else. Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."

These seem so clear.  

The grace of a little sunshine

The sun showed up for a bit today.  A small glimpse of poetry spewed forth.



Streams of sunlight awake my soul
and play upon the recesses of my imagination,
the light begging to be deeply imbedded in my memory
so that is is easily recalled in the days to come
which will be filled with bitter cold and gray.

Grandma's Hot Chocolate

There is a card in the recipe box at my house that has this recipe:

Hot Chocolate

1 box of instant milk
1 jar of Pream
17 oz Nestle's chocolate
1/2 box of powdered sugar

That's it.  No directions, nothing.  And what is "Pream"?

However, I can show this card to any of my nieces or my nephew, they would know exactly what it is.  It's Grandma's hot chocolate mix and WAY better than anything you can ever get out of a little bag.  I'm updating the recipe for you here - because I promise, you'll love it!

Gwen/Grandma's Hot Chocolate Mix

1 box of instant milk powder (the one that says it makes 8 quarts of milk)
1 11 oz. container of creamer - plain (the powdered kind)
20 oz Nestle's chocolate milk mix (the dry powdered stuff)
1 lb of powdered sugar

Mix together in a large bowl.  Save in a air-tight container.  I don't know how many servings it makes, but the recipe above fills my large Tupperware "thatsa" bowl. We generally add 3 - 4 heaping spoonfuls of the mix to hot/boiling water in a regular coffee mug.  

Please note: Try your mix and adjust ingredients as needed.  I'm a "little of this, little of that" kind of person, but I think the proportions above work well.  You can add mini-marshmallows if you want (or just keep a can of whipped cream available).  I'm also debating adding shaved dark chocolate pieces to my mix next time.

I promise it's fantastic.

And after delivery to my nieces, I promise that I will be the favorite aunt (at least for the day)!

Of making difficult choices that affect others

So - I am in super-planning mode for the Honduras Spring Break Mission Trip (just 8 weeks away). Planning for a group of 23+ is not an easy task. This week tickets must be purchased and a proposal to the mission committee at SW C of C must be completed.

However, what I agonized over last night werethe little things. Specifically two little things.

1. Airline seating arrangements
2. Hotel roommate assignments

Why are those two things so difficult? I always dread the disappointment on faces of teens when they realize they are not sitting by someone of their choosing, or when they realize they don't get to choose their room assignments for hotels. I don't know why I dread it so much, I just do.

Last night I finished the seating arrangements for our flight. I've finally figured out not to give the travel agent all of our names in alphabetical order (duh!). And, I actually made sure that no teen was stuck on a row with two adults. It was not the easiest task - but it is done. Like it or not people - you'll have to deal.

However, the hotel arrangements are a whole other story. So far there are three different drafts/possibilities. Unfortunately, as much as I plan ahead, there's a 95% chance that I'll have to rearrange after we arrive at one of the hotels. I think it's a conspiracy. Probably not - but sometimes it feels that way.

On a positive note: Only about 8 weeks until we leave. Specifically 58 days! WooHoo!

Heart Speak

Warning: Sappy-ness alert

These lyrics speak my heart right now:

Look at me (by Carrie Underwood)

I would bet my life like I bet my heart
That you were the one, baby
I've never been so sure of anything before
You're driving my heart crazy

I can't hold out
I can't hold back now
Like I've done before

Darling look at me
I've fallen like a fool for you
Darling can't you see
I'd do anything you want me to

I tell myself I'm in too deep
Then I fall a little farther
Every time you look at me

How do you do that, babe?
Make me feel like I'm the only girl alive for you
I don't know what it is that makes me fall like this
First time in your arms I knew

The way you held me
I knew that this could be
What I've been waiting to find

Darling look at me
I've fallen like a fool for you
Darling can't you see
I'd do anything you want me to

I tell myself I'm gettin' in too deep
Then I fall a little farther
Every time you look at me

A National Anthem

In six days we leave for a two-week mission trip to Lesotho. As a 4th grader at the local British primary school, I learned to play the Lesotho National Anthem on my recorder. I can still play it. Today I looked it up to see if I remembered the words correctly (and I wasn't too bad through the first verse and chorus). Here it is for my ghost readers:

LESŌTHŌ FATŠE LA BONTAT'A RŌNA

Lesōthō fatše la bo ntat'a rōna;

Ha ra mafatše le letle ke lona;

Ke moo re hlahileng,

ke moo re hōlileng,

Rea lerata,

Mōlimō ak'u bōlōke Lesōthō;

U felise lintoa le matšoenyeho;

Oho fatše lena;

La bo ntata rōna;

Le be le khotso.

English translation:

Lesotho, land of our Fathers,

Among the lands it is the most beautiful.

It is where we were born,

It is where we grew up--

We love it.

God, please protect Lesotho.

Spare it conflict, and tribulation--

Oh, this land,

Land of our Fathers,

May it have peace.

The lyrics were written by François Coillard, a French missionary, and the music was composed by Ferdinand-Samuel Laur. It has been used as the national anthem since 1967.

Unfinished verse

Sometimes pieces of poetry are just unfinished. This one is, but I thought I'd put it out there anyway:

Untitled

If I could settle your thoughts

I would whisper peace to you

If I could have comfort your heart

I would shower you with love

If I could have lighten your load

I would share your burden

If I could see you smile

I would focus my gaze only on your face

Songs that remind me of other people

Some songs just lend themselves to reminding you of someone. I have many of those songs - this is just one.

"How Can I Keep From Singing"

There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give

I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And fall down again
I can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne

(as sung by Chris Tomlin)

Mushy

I figure that there may be one or two people who actually read this blog (and not consistently at that) - and I am 99.9% sure they are related to me. That being said, somehow this blog has turned into more of my own way of putting down stuff that I need to get out of my head. So if it's too much, my apologies (especially because recently it's become what some may refer to as a little 'mushy').

Ever wanted to say something to someone - and then you hear the perfect song lyrics? That happens to me a lot. Though, usually, it's not something I'll actually say, just something I want to say - but will keep bottled up.

These are those lyrics today (only slightly adjusted for gender purposes):

Right here waiting, staying strong
Come and fall into me

You say you've turned it off, hid your heart upon a shelf
Scared of what it might cost to take it down for someone else
'Cause loving her you lost too much of yourself
Baby can't you see that she's not me

And I need you to know you can fall into me
That my arms are wide open and will always be
Right here waiting, staying strong
Come and fall into me

I'll follow any road anywhere to get to you
I'll open us my soul if that's what you need me to do
Now baby its your move all you've got to do
Is believe in love, just believe in us

"Fall Into Me" (by Emerson Drive)

Warned you it might be mushy. Oh well, that's my heart recently. Mushy. No matter how hard I try not to be.

What Faith Can Do

So many times we forget what Jesus said in Matthew 17:20. "...Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

I am thankful that beyond my minuscule faith, the faith of many other god-fearing, righteous people have influenced not only my life, but the world I live in.

I don't know that I've heard it said better than through these lyrics:

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do.

What Faith Can Do (Kutless)

Lunchtime Phone Calls

Mornings filled
Trying to accomplish work
Trying to keep up with life
Trying to maintain perspective
Trying to just get through
All covered and accomplished
With the ring of a phone
And a whisper of hello

Slow

Just trying to understand "slow." On-line I have found these definitions:

1. boring: so lacking in interest as to cause mental weariness

Nope, not that one.

2. Slow was a Canadian punk rock band in the mid-1980s

Well - I don't remember them, so that doesn't count either.

3.decelerate: lose velocity

Definitely not.

Guess I'll just have to wait until the definition of "slow" becomes clearer.

Defining lyrics

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to...

Anna Nalick - Breathe (2 a.m.)

It's late and I'm feeling so tired
Having trouble sleeping.
This constant compromise
Between thinking and breathing.

Corrine Bailey Rae - Trouble Sleeping

Just pieces of lyrics that resonate this week.

Oasis?

Afraid.

Fear of wandering in a

Self-imposed wilderness

Created from dreams

Long laid to rest -

Only to find an oasis,

and wonder -

Is it real or

Will it disappear

in an instant?

Criminal Minds

My favorite crime drama is Criminal Minds. As much as I hate to see great characters leave good T.V. shows - I think the writers did a fantastic job in the very last scene of last week's episode. These next couple of paragraphs were 'JJ's' words to the director of their unit - and they're fantastic.

"I’m thankful for my years spent with this family, for everything we share, every chance we had to grow. I’ll take the best of them with me and lead by their example wherever I go. A friend told me to be honest with you, so here it goes:

This isn’t what I want, but I will take the high road. Maybe it’s because I look at everything as a lesson or because I don’t want to walk around angry; or maybe, it’s because I finally understand. There are things we don’t want to happen, but have to accept; things we don’t want to know, but have to learn; and people we can’t live without, but have to let go."

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau (A.J. Cook - Criminal Minds)

Inadequate

Feeling inadequate
to help,
to lighten or
carry a burden.

Attempting to provide
distraction,
a smile or
just a breath of air.

Striving to
connect,
comfort and
provide refuge

Wondering if my
desire,
yearning or
longing echoes in you.